Not worth the effort

JAMES REMOVALS: For the complete Removal Service; excellence through effort

 

 Snatched by @sloganhunter

 This is a whole script for a radio advert on the back of a van.  Excellence through effort, though, sounds like it's been created by a random slogan generator... hmm - must investigate that possibility...

Best Foot Forward

OK, this isn't a slogan as such, but we were very impressed by the name of this combined chiropodist and shoe shop:

A cup of caring coffee

coffee beanery: Coffee People Who Care

 Snatched by @styladelica

 Textbook. Thanks to Styladelica for this contribution.  Remember, you can contribute your own slogans through the Twitter links on the right or via email.  Be sure to read the submission guidelines before you do!

Why do they do it?

VISBEEN: Because we care

 Captured by @Sloganhunter

 Logistics companies are our bread & butter, but slogans like these are a smear of jam on the top. Wonderful, wonderful work.  And "handwritten" as well.  It's a beautiful thing.

Hot Air

WeSTWay HEATING: INSTALLING OUR REPUTATION

 Captured by @sloganhunter

 If my last plumber was anything to go by, they're more likely to be installing a new boiler whether we like it or not.  Though I'm sure Westway Heating are far more reputable. 

Honestly?

SAMAMIAH ENTERPRISE: SO FAR SO GOOD; RELIABILITY & HONESTY IS OUR GOAL

 Snatched by @sloganhunter

 This is one of my absolute favourites. There's the first slogan "So Far So Good", which for a logistics company isn't actually too bad - cheery and unpretentious... but then they deliver this absolute cracker: "Reliability & honesty is our goal".  Leaving aside the grammatical minefield of "is/are", my first thought was that honesty in a shipping firm should be a given - not a goal! 'We've been trying hard not to run off with our customers' belongings and we're pleased to report a 50% reduction in silverwear "going missing"'

Of course, I must point out that I've no reason to believe the people at Samamiah Enterprise are anything but honest and reliable - it's the slogan we're attacking here, not the company!

Criminally bad

Metropolitan Police: TOTAL POLICING

 Captured by @falconermusic

 Why do the police even need a slogan?!  It's not like they're in competition with anybody!  And if they're worried about their image, this stinks of football manager-ese and suggests brain-dead, aggressive, gung-ho, brute-force style tactics, which I'm not sure is what they really want right now...  

Excellent Bullshit

RICHMOND HOUSING Partnership: Partners for Excellence

 Captured by @falconermusic

 "Excellence" is one of those words that got bandied around local councils about five years ago, much like "Sustainability" is today.

Bollocks. 

Heart of the matter

AGA Rangemaster: Putting heart and soul into every home

 Captured by @sloganhunter

 Steady on, it's only a bloody cooker!  

Raising the roof...

DCR ROOFING: The Best Thing About us is Our Roofs

 Captured by @falconermusic 

 Oh my word, yes - I think this is my new favourite.  An absolute car crash of grammar, layout and naffness.  Three cheers for DCR Roofing!

No Soyprises

Cappuccino SOY DRINK: Tastes Soyprisingly Good

 Soybmitted by @ShelleyKayeEll

 A quick look on the internet reveals the company that emblazons this mosntrosity on their product is called Vivesoy.  Not only is it a horribly shoe-horned pun, but the message is essentially "Our products don't taste quite as shit as you think they will!"  Awful.

Remember, you can contribute your own slogans through the Twitter links on the right or via email.  Be sure to read the submission guidelines before you do!

Another one of YOUR slogans.

BLITZ: making more of your event

 Captured by @sloganhunter

 It's not a bad slogan in itself- it's the underlining of 'your' that gets to us here at SHHQ.